Reclaiming my space

We moved into a house with 5 bedrooms in June. For the first time ever, we all have our own room. Which is wonderful. Now when the kids act up, I can send them to their individual space to cool down, think, whatever. that was never an option when they shared rooms. And they have all liked the idea of having their own room. Notice I said the IDEA of it. My youngest is territorial about his. No one had better set foot in there without his written permission! My oldest loves having his room, but it seems that his next youngest brother manages to weasel in there frequently. They get along well most of the time, so that's not an issue. And the third child actually does spend time in his room, hanging out, whatever. So, in theory, this works great.

Reality check. Oldest...fine with the new room. Second son, doesn't want to sleep in his yet. He insisted on having the only room on the first floor, but now gets nervous. He will get over it. third child, no problem. Youngest...big problem. Yes, he's territorial. BUT HE WON"T SLEEP THERE!!! Every single night, he ends up sneaking in with me. I didn't mind much at first. It's a big adjustment. But I am really getting tired of this. I want my space back!!!

My room is rather large and used to be the attic. It's mine. I love having my room and my personal space. But lately the kids have been coming up here and laying in my bed, watching TV, annoying each other, whatever it is that kids should be doing somewhere other than in my room. I just about went off on the second kid and his friends last night. OK. Let me change that. I did go off. I walked into my room to find that my whole bed has been moved away from the wall and is in the middle of the room. This happened one other time previously, with all of the same kids, and even the kids who are not my own children KNOW my room is off limits. That is just not in any way, shape, or form OK.

So there are some big changes coming around here. I have been tightening up on the discipline in general lately. I had slacked off over the past year due to all of the huge changes in their lives and mine. But easy-going mom is gone. I will still be nice mom. Loving mom. Silly mom. but there will be rules and they will be enforced. I have reached my limits with this. So I have come up with a list of rules in my head. I am going to print them up and post them on the fridge, right next to the chore list that will also be created this week. I am not so unreasonable as to expect them to just intuitively know the rules.

Rule 1: No going in anyone's room without their permission. Especially mine. It is to be my own private sanctuary. There is no one, not even Chuck, who sleeps over here yet when the kids are here. But it is never too early to instill those boundaries. I would rather do it now so they don't feel that the rules have changed because of a guy in my life.

Rule 2: Pick up after yourself. I am not going to do it for you and I will not live in a pigsty. If you cannot pick up, you will lose privileges. It is not my job to follow four other people around and clean up, kind of like a human Roomba. Not my job.

Rule 3: I am not your personal servant. I do not mind assisting with things if I am asked politely. However, you are all capable of getting yourselves drinks, going to the bathroom on your own, and finding your own stuff. OK, maybe the youngest might still need some help with this occasionally. But not for much longer. I want independent, capable kids.

Rule 4: You will have a bedtime. The youngest will be in bed at 8. The next one at 8:30. The oldest ones at 10. The younger two may lay in bed quietly and read for 30 minutes before lights out. The older ones can be in their rooms and be quiet. I am not that concerned about when they turn their lights out, but we all need some private, quiet time.

Rule 5: You will do your chores. We all live here and we all need to help out.

Rule 6: You will do your homework when you get home from school. I am not going to be blindsided by the need for posterboard at 9pm. Enough said.

There just needs to be a sense of order again. School is starting. Work will be picking up. And we are all in serious need of a routine again. Rules are good.