I feel like a martini

Shaken, not stirred.

Ok, my lame attempt at humor before finishing my second cup of much-needed coffee. I am awake and still have the shadow of the dream hanging over me. I am hoping that as the day goes on, the feelings it has brought on will clear out a bit.

This could be a hard week. The kids were supposed to be in another state this week with their dad, but because of football practice for one of the kids, he chose to only have the four for the weekend and try to just see them during the week for football practices. So there are going to be several times where I have to send them off this week. If I can't shake this feeling of dread, it's going to be a long, long week.

As for the martini reference, I am kind of amused after thinking about it. I know a lot of people, when upset, do have a drink to calm down. I don't normally. Maybe if I am minorly irritated. But if I am truly upset, that is the last thing I would want. Remnants of an alcoholic father. I am always afraid that if I start to have a drink to calm me down, I am going to go down that path, too. Not that I really believe that I would, but why take that chance. One of my own personal rules for myself. I am not opposed at all to having the occassional good beer or glass of wine if I am being social or if it is a hot day andit sounds good. Sometimes even 2 or 3. But not as a way to deal with problems. That is a line I will never feel right about crossing. So, for now, I will just have more coffee and work on moving on with the day.